Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

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tomb
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by tomb »

Is that a certified old fart crank expert . ?? I think I saw that as a graduate course at Harvard. It came as a PHD. ( phonographs highest degree ) It must be great because Harvard costs a fortune :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: Tom

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gramophone-georg
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by gramophone-georg »

tomb wrote:Is that a certified old fart crank expert . ?? I think I saw that as a graduate course at Harvard. It came as a PHD. ( phonographs highest degree ) It must be great because Harvard costs a fortune :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: Tom
Should have just gone to Columbia. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
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Curt A
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by Curt A »

I'm willing to go out on a limb and offer this certification, including a diploma suitable for framing, for just $19.95, if you are one of the first 20 people to respond...
That's a savings of $99 from the normal $118.95 price for just the certification... Act now, this offer won't last...
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Orchorsol
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by Orchorsol »

Curt A wrote:I'm willing to go out on a limb and offer this certification, including a diploma suitable for framing, for just $19.95, if you are one of the first 20 people to respond...
That's a savings of $99 from the normal $118.95 price for just the certification... Act now, this offer won't last...
Yes, and we have a similar scheme here in the UK - also on offer for a very limited period - right now for £9.99 you can qualify as a Certified Repairer of Antique Phonographs (and use the acronym on your business cards).
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by fran604g »

Orchorsol wrote:
Curt A wrote:I'm willing to go out on a limb and offer this certification, including a diploma suitable for framing, for just $19.95, if you are one of the first 20 people to respond...
That's a savings of $99 from the normal $118.95 price for just the certification... Act now, this offer won't last...
Yes, and we have a similar scheme here in the UK - also on offer for a very limited period - right now for £9.99 you can qualify as a Certified Repairer of Antique Phonographs (and use the acronym on your business cards).
^^^ :lol:
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travisgreyfox
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by travisgreyfox »

52089 wrote:
maginter wrote:I was looking though the various Forums today and stumbled across this. So what is required to become a Certified Crank Phonograph Expert????? Is there training for this????? :lol:
Yes, but it's mostly self-taught. In order to qualify as a CCPE, you must meet all the following criteria:

1) You must have once - and only once - attempted to remove springs from a phonograph before they were fully wound down. Bonus points if you have a facial scar to prove it.

2) You must have an opinion on what an "off brand" is, and it must be different than every other opinion on the subject.

3) You must have lost count of the number of small screws, ball bearings, etc. you have lost.

4) You must have broken at least one completely irreplaceable record, preferably through no fault of your own (e.g. putting a wax Amberol on a mandrel)

I'm sure there are more. Keep it going!
5.) Your garage has to have a permanent grease smell (bonus points if your living room does also)

6.) Have at least one record in every room in your house (even if you do not have a machine in said room.

7.) Have so many machines you "sneak" buy one and your spouse doesn't even notice a new machine.

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Zwebie
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by Zwebie »

Did anyone notice how much the phonograph on the card looks like a 100% certified crap-o-phone?

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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by phonogfp »

Yes, I noticed. :lol: I also wondered if that white blob in the horn is supposed to be a hummingbird... Okay, now I'm getting catty...

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maginter
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by maginter »

phonogfp wrote:Yes, I noticed. :lol: I also wondered if that white blob in the horn is supposed to be a hummingbird... Okay, now I'm getting catty...

George P.

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Marty Bufalini
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Re: Certified Crank Phonograph Expert..... Seriously????

Post by Marty Bufalini »

What a bunch of goofs!!! You are all too funny.

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