VISITS

[Raphael]

I have been buying & selling antiques for over 25 years, and the business gradually grew from a part-time extension of my hobby to a full-time, virtually 24/7 operation since I “retired” in 2005.

My wife and I live in close proximity to the Ft. Lauderdale and Miami tourist and cruise ship areas. We learned a long time ago that lots of folks would like to stop by and “see our shop” while they are in the area on vacation. We don’t have a “shop”, and the entire business is conducted from inside our home and/or warehouse. Explaining this to people who want to come is problematic.

Just to be clear, we often entertain business clients that we know and trust. Some even stay overnight. But to allow complete strangers into our home, people who have never emailed, called, or otherwise communicated any interest whatsoever, is not only impractical (who are they, and what are they interested in?), but in this day and age patently risky and unsafe.

We have a lot of our inventory posted on line and readily provide full details upon request. Preparing for a visit not only takes time (moving stuff out of the way, out of closets, etc.) but the visit itself can take 3 to 4 hours at a minimum. Like I said, we have had visitors, and know the drill. We have had “Open Houses” for the Music Box Society, with up to 100 guests at a time.

My reason for mentioning all of this is prompted by the latest request for a visit, a person to whom I explained our situation to, and promptly called me a “F***ing A***hole”. Well, that I may be (and I’ve been called worse), but his response certainly justified my denying him a spur-of-the-moment visit.

Other examples of this nature include the clown who called me at 10:00 one night and announced (not requested) that he will be stopping by at 9 the next morning. And a van full of people from Argentina, who showed up pretending to be buyers, (I was out of town at the time) and when denied access finally contacted me about a month later, trying to sell me phonographs. Or the buyer who came to pick up a phonograph and learn how to set it up. The girl he brought along started berating me, in my own house, even though she knew nothing about phonographs, because she didn’t want her boyfriend to spend so much money.

Many members of the Forum have been to my house and know how accommodating we can be. But we’d like to know you first, it’s as simple as that.


Raphael

[travisgreyfox]

As long as you explain to people nicely I see no need to call you names. As my dad would say, "some peoples children". I'm not old enough to remember much before the internet, but were people always this rude to each other? Or is this just a symptom of social media IE Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and other platforms were people just constantly berate each other? I do not know, but am worried about the future

[brianu]

I've been in similar situations and can only imagine how much worse it must be for someone like Raphael with an actual business, dedicated web site and such. I've sold dozens of machines through word of mouth, a spot I used to rent in an antique co-op, ebay, craigslist, etc., and have dealt with all sorts of people, and often an agreement is made before anyone comes to the house... and when they do, they're usually in an out within 15-20 minutes after checking out a given machine, paying for it and maybe checking out some of my other stuff. But I would totally agree that it's beyond frustrating during those other times when people come to your home with no respect for your time, on the pretext of buying something, and instead linger and look and ask questions for three hours, before leaving, often after saying something like "we're just on the fence between those two, but will let you know," and then you never hear from them again, not even a simple, thanks for your time, but we're going to hold off for now. Often, it has felt on such occasions that such people are just looking for information on machines and values that they can use to search for or sell something elsewhere (if that's the case, I wish they would just say so).

[colmike1]

As long as you explain to people nicely I see no need to call you names. As my dad would say, "some peoples children". I'm not old enough to remember much before the internet, but were people always this rude to each other? Or is this just a symptom of social media IE Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and other platforms were people just constantly berate each other? I do not know, but am worried about the future

I am old enough to remember (fondly, for the most part) the pre-internet universe. Most people I dealt with, either as buyer's or seller's, behaved with some level of respect. Mind you, there are always been a few jerks out there to make life unpleasant, but they were the exception rather than the rule. I am sorry to hear Raphael is having these issues, but it is indicative of a society that has not been taught interpersonal relationships. The anonymity of the internet has given us a world of people who want it and want it now. My wife and I conduct estate sales, and our office is in our home. People think they can pick up items from us anytime they wish, even though we have busy schedules trying to get these sales set up. I have to remind them, gently, that the Universe does not revolve around them.

[Chuck]

Raphael,

Well, speaking of visits, one other alternative
is instead of them coming to visit you, you go and
visit them. Like that time in Alaska. Haha.

Chuck

[soundgen]

Raphael,

Well, speaking of visits, one other alternative
is instead of them coming to visit you, you go and
visit them. Like that time in Alaska. Haha.

Chuck

you can't leave it there , tell us more ! NOW

[Raphael]

Raphael,

Well, speaking of visits, one other alternative
is instead of them coming to visit you, you go and
visit them. Like that time in Alaska. Haha.

Chuck

you can't leave it there , tell us more ! NOW

Well, you asked for it!

http://forum.talkingmachine.info/viewto ... =2&t=20714


Raphael

[52089]

I'm with you 100%. Privacy and safety are vital. I'm not all that hard to find, but I rarely tell people exactly where I live, and because of a quirk, even if you find my address you're not likely to find me. I use a PO box for pretty much everything. Even my last employer didn't have my actual home address.

If someone local buys a small machine from me, I meet them at the strip mall parking lot down the street.

There are people on this forum I've done business with many times and they would be more than welcome to come by, but someone I don't know anything about is not likely to be able to visit.

I used to be a member of a large collector group for another hobby. When I joined, I had 2 conditions:
1)that they never print my address in a membership directory, and 2) that they never give/rent/sell my info to any third party for any reason. Both of these were violated within the first few years, so I dropped them and never looked back.

[billybob62]

As long as you explain to people nicely I see no need to call you names. As my dad would say, "some peoples children". I'm not old enough to remember much before the internet, but were people always this rude to each other? Or is this just a symptom of social media IE Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and other platforms were people just constantly berate each other? I do not know, but am worried about the future

Let me put it this way:
I graduated from the U. of Pittsburgh in 1958 and NEVER ONCE heard the "F" word in my life until I think it was in the 1970s. My daughter says I was "privileged",in the today's world type of behavior way, and that may be so and the kinds of people I ran around with were not of the "F" word milieu, but from about the late 60s/early 70s on things started to change.

[marcapra]

Yes, there was a social revolution in the 70s, maybe caused by drugs, Vietnam, Nixon, etc. Then things started to change. I once thought could you make a movie like Animal House or even One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in the 60s. I don't think so, and certainly not in the 50's when Leave it to Beaver was the first TV show to film the top tank of a toilet despite censors' objections. But then in the 60's most people believed that the government would never lie, and the Vietnam war was necessary.