More crazy seller descriptions

[Zeppy]

This is one of the better ones:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vi ... otohosting

Here is a beautiful Victrola cabinet, presumably mahogony. The exterior has some superficial blemishes; the interior is nearly immaculate -- there are no clear signs that this cabinet was ever used. There is no damage at all to the interior shelves and surfaces. The four doors all close neatly, and the latch on the lid is similarly in perfect condition. The decal on the lid is pristine.

This lot does NOT include the phonograph mechanism -- you are bidding on the cabinet only. There is no evidence I can find that a phonograph was *ever* installed in this cabinet...so you will be the first!

Serial number is VV-XIV 145848 on the metal plate; the original price/patent label is intact and shows the original price of $165! It is dated October 8, 1917.

Dimensions are approx. 20" x 22" x 42".

Local pickup is preferred; shipping via freight will be costly, and I will charge for a professional shipping service to protect this delicate antique item.

I don't know what's funnier...the opening $1k bid, the "superficial blemishes comment" (if you consider having it's legs hacked off, and scratched the hell up "superficial") or the "no evidence a phonographs was ever installed" b.s.

What crack are people smoking down in North Carolina?

[Valecnik]

Wow, Zeppy,

I imagine now you are in a car on the way to NC to pick it up! I hope you can get it for $1,000! Whatever that guy is smokin it must be REAL good!

I once went to look at a diamond disc machine. It was one of those awful "make me an offer" type of arrangements. I was prepared to start around a couple of hundred $ when the guy pulled off the reproducer and tried to convince me it alone was worth $3,000 or more because it was SOLID GOLD!!! Needless to say we were unable to reach agreement.

[MordEth]

Zeppy,

You definitely seem to find some really winners on eBay. eBay Item #150326254641 is no exception. You’d have to be on something to think that description was accurate or based on reality...

Here are the rest of the pictures, because I think they’re too good not to have here:

I’m particularly fond of the second and third images, which definitely show, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there was never a phonograph installed there.

It’s easily worth $1,000!

— MordEth

[Valecnik]

Another way you can tell that no mechanism has ever been installed is that the legs are still cut off and there are no casters. I've read that legs were normally glued onto the cabinet after the mechanism was installed to avoid premature breakage A virgin cabinet is easily worth a thousand but a legless virgin?? Who can even predict!!!

[PhonoJack]

Hey Zep,

That is indeed a very rare phonograph. For many years there has been a secret colony of 'little people' on an island off the coast of South Carolina. Over the last century when there was much debate about whether these people should be called midgets, dwarfs or others acceptable terms, these rare machines were kept in the back rooms of these nice little people. It was only recently when they got together (over the internet) and agreed that the term "Little People" was appropriate, did we begin to see some of these long hidden machine come out. The recent "Little People" Television series has helped these people stand up, no pun intended and bring out those old LP Victrolas. The seller must have found one recently.

If you look on the top of the machine, you'll see there no scratches. (Because they couldn't reach the top), so this is evidence that a Little People family owned this particular machine.

LPCollector


yes, Little People Collector, not LP album.