Ugliest Crap-o-phone ever!

[Nat]

I like the idea of removing the heart (motor). Having done that, can you pound a stake through it, to make sure it doesn't come back?

[antique1973]

Words are not enough....

[recordo]

not only ugly, the description is brilliantly awful! (I especially like the part about never having had to use the spare needles!). Sorry I can't get the pictures off ebay, so you'll have to look at them here: eBay Item #250716714440

Here's the description worthy of a fiction novelist! (PS For non-Australians, "cuppa" means cup of tea!)

: TREAT FOR YOUR EARS & SOUL...

MANY NIGHTS HAVE I SAT BACK WITH A CUPPA & BATHED MY SOUL IN THE SOUNDS OF YESTERYEAR THAT IS SO RELAXING & RARE, MOST OF US HAVE NOT YET EXPERIENCED IT, MOST OF US NEVER WILL...

HANDCRAFTED WITH SKILLS THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED ON FROM FATHER TO SON FOR DECADES...

YES THEY STILL DO MAKE THEM LIKE THEY USED TO...

IT MIGHT BE HARD TO ACKNOWLEDGE LIVING OUR DECADENT LIVES IN THE WEST THAT MORE THAN HALF OF THE WORLDS POPULATION HAS NOT MADE A SINGLE PHONE CALL YET (2009 UN STATISTICS)

ITS NOT HARD TO IMAGINE THEY ARE STILL MAKING THESE SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD JUST LIKE THEY USED TO LONG TIME AGO USING THE SAME SKILLS AND FACTORIES BACK IN THE GOLDEN ERA OF MUSIC...

PUT ON ONE OF THE RECORDS & SIT AROUND WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY TO ENJOY A CHRISTMAS CUPPA...

THIS IS THE COMPLETE PACKAGE...

1. 18 RARE RECORDS IN THEIR ORIGINAL COVERS - SOME SIMPLE & SOME ORNATE...
2. ORIGINAL CARTON BOX THAT THE "VOICE BOX" WAS SHIPPED IN...
3. ORIGINAL PICK UP NEEDLE TIN BOX
4. SPARE NEEDLES (NOT THAT YOU WILL NEED THEM AS I NEVER HAD TO CHANGE IT A SINGLE TIME IN ALL THE YEARS THAT I HAVE HAD IT)

ALL FREE GIFTS FROM ME TO YOU...

THIS COULD BE THE ITEM THAT YOU PASS ON TO YOUR GRANCHILDREN OR JUST ENJOY IT A WHILE AND SELL IT ON FOR A PROFIT...

PICK UP WELCOME FROM CRAIGIEBURN VIC. 3064

CAN HAVE IT COURIERED RIGHT UP TO YOUR DOOR FOR
$33 (MOST AUSTRALIAN CAPITOL CITIES)
(EXCEPT WA, NT, FAR NORTH Q-LAND & RURAL AREAS)
(PLEASE SEND POST CODE FOR FINAL SHIPPING QUOTE )

45 CM ROUND & 66 CM HIGH WITH THE HORN FITTED
THE ROUND TABLE PICTURED IS NOT INCLUDED BUT FOR SALE IN MY OTHER 99C AUCTIONS...
CHECK THEM OUT AS I AM CLEARING OUT MOST OF MY OLD STUFF...

REGARDS,
MATT

[srqwebguy]

That is too funny. I "bathed my soul" once. Turns out I was allergic to the soap.

[recordo]

or if he has used the same needle over and over, Shane - he's destroyed his collection of super rare 1950s 78s

[Covah]

#250716714440, above

[coyote]

I like how it's listed as "antique" but in the description, the seller is basically saying it's a reproduction:

ITS NOT HARD TO IMAGINE THEY ARE STILL MAKING THESE SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD JUST LIKE THEY USED TO

"somewhere"...like India?

...and the motor, as expected:

!B6,je!gBmk~$(KGrHqUOKkMEyPfKw+sgBM)Pf,0pqw~~_12.JPG (24.89 KiB) Viewed 2126 times

[Edisone]

That horn's texture makes this The Armadill-o-phone !

[recordo]

this thread might end up becoming "most clueless seller"... this appeared on an ebay Australia listing for a 102 portable:

"I used the needle off the other gramophone I'm selling to test it and it worked nicely - I don't have any 78s to test it with, but I tried it out with a 33 and the sound came through nicely."

Are they clueless, or are they just liars?

eBay Item #110604427123

[Wolfe]

PUT ON ONE OF THE RECORDS & SIT AROUND WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY TO ENJOY A CHRISTMAS CUPPA...

UNTIL THE HORRIBLE SCREECHING AND GRINDING NOISES THAT POUR FORTH CAUSE SAID FAMILY TO DROP THEIR 'CUPPAS' IN THEIR LAPS. THEN SOON OFF TO BE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND SUCH WHILE YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THIS THING.

Sad.