Peter had a little goat

[Inigo]

Peter had a little goat, it's fleece was black as coal, and everywhere that Peter went, the goat was sure to go! Ha, ha, ha....
I was starting to get bored and fed up of Mary...

[PeterF]

Correction: I AM the G.O.A.T.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

[drh]

Mary had a little lamp,
Its shade was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
that lamp was sure to glow.

[Inigo]

[Lah Ca]

Mary had a Crapophone
Its provenance quite funky
Thus every record Mary played
Sounded rather junky.

[Inigo]

Mary had a big moustache
quite enormous, flamboyant,
And whatever place Mary went,
the big moustache ta-ta-tant!

[JerryVan]

Mary had a little lamb,
its fleas were white as snow,
and everywhere that Mary went,
the fleas were sure to go.

Mary was not a welcomed house guest.

[Lah Ca]

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now she takes the lamb to school,
Between two slabs of bread.

[Inigo]

[Lah Ca]

I remember that when I was in elementary school, maybe in grade one or two, I overheard a "Mary" rhyme from a group of older boys, probably grade seven students.

They seemed to find it uproariously funny.

I, however, did not understand it, but as children often do, I repeated it, repeated it for my parents when I went home for lunch.

They found it doubly funny, because I obviously did not understand it.

This is not the place to repeat it, well ... at least not in full.

Mary had a little lamb.
Its name was Ebeneezer,
And every time she climbed the fence
He saw .........