'Worst Phonograph Description On Craigslist' contest

[JohnM]

I hate it when phonographs (or anything else for that matter) are referred to as a "piece" or a "unit".

[bbphonoguy]

"ive been told this piece is worth $ 1500 bye several dealers"

Obviously the dealers in Richmond do not deal, they just dispense free advice

Hmmm. "Bye several dealers"; putting this person's weak grasp on spelling and grammar aside, they never did say what type of dealers said this. I'm going to guess that they're drug dealers, and let it go at that.

[antique1973]

Man, this is one sweet GRAPHONE! See, sloppy typing can sometimes
reveal jewels such as this....

http://sandiego.craigslist.org/nsd/atq/1763242977.html

[JohnM]

Prhps a grdute o th 'Evlyn Wd Spd Rdg Crse'?

[coyote]

100 year-old SilverTone wind up victrola in mahogany cabinet. Works good and records included. Asking $400.00. If interested please call (724) 287-XXXX. Computer not capable of sending photographs. (italics mine)

Whaaa? Perhaps this person is using an Apple IIe or Commodore 64?


And oh, this poor Credenza. At least it's a chest of "crawers" and not a liquor cabinet! It looks like some knobs were added at the top.

I purchased this piece almost 50 years ago and I hate to give it up but it's time to downsize. It was originally a wind-up Victrola phonograph. You can still see the decal on the underside of the top - "His Masters Voice." A really good craftsman converted it to a chest of crawers. There are three large drawers, 4 smaller drawers, and the horizontal drawer below the top. It holds a lot of stuff. I believe the wood is mahogany. The piece is in very nice condition.

3nd3m33o95V25Q25X5a61b2d058c20c7e1f8f.jpg (8.82 KiB) Viewed 2307 times

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[estott]

This one is almost as bad as the above: Oh the Humanity!
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/atq/1768123267.html

"This has a handle on the back and 2 wheels on the back so it could be moved to poolside or other areas for parties. It had record player on top and liquor storage in the bottom. Original finish. We use it for a big screen TV stand. Pictures make it look lighter than it is. Quarter sawn oak."

[estott]

I hate it when phonographs (or anything else for that matter) are referred to as a "piece" or a "unit".

I can tolerate "Piece" when it's referring to a phonograph where the main interest is going to be the case and the fact that it plays records is purely secondary. This is especially true of flat top consoles.

[SignatureSeriesOwner]

Richmond is giving me all kinds of gems this month...


http://richmond.craigslist.org/atq/1778292946.html



1899 victrola phonograph and old 33 records - $600 (west end )


mahogany finish phonograph in good condition and works great. It also includes an assorted 33.3 rpm albums of which includes haggard, elvis,como, plus others.abt 60 albums.

[jnorman111]

(J.M.J.) A $1000 asking price for this piece???

This is a Silvertone Phonograph that was marketed by Sears in the 1915’s - 1920’s.
Free standing floor model. Looks like an Oak finish. It stands 46 inches high, by 20 inches wide and 22 inches deep.
In 1915, Sears introduced the Silvertone phonograph, a hand-cranked machine that came in tabletop and freestanding models. All phonographs came with a two-week, money-back guarantee.
A unique feature on this one is fiber needles, which are really rare these days. They were patented in 1907. A directions sheet is included with the fiber needles. Because of their uniqueness I never used them.

There are over 50 new steel needles included, which were more common.

I have owned this unit for the past 45 years. Prior to me it only had one other owner. I am selling it because I am down sizing.

These and the Victrola (made by RCA) can be found for sale at prices from $400 to $1200. Some work and some don’t and are in pretty bad shape. This one is in very good condition.

This phonograph is in good working order.

Also included in this purchase are a collection of 78 RPM recordings. They are:
Hank Williams - “they’ll never take her love from me” MGM
Hank Williams – “why should we try anymore” MGM
Gene Autry – “an old fashioned tree” Columbia
Gene Autry – “here comes santa claus” Columbia
Pat Boone – “love letters in the sand” DOT - 1957
Pat Boone – “bernadine” DOT - 1957
Frankie Lane – “jezebel” Columbia
Frankie Lane – “rose rose, I love your” Columbia
Guy Lombardo – “ Frankie and Johnny” DECCA
Guy Lombardo – “I’m my own grandpaw” – DECCA
Louise Armstrong – “I can’t afford to miss this dream” DECCA
Louise Armstrong – “the gypsy” DECCA
Eddy Arnold - “Texarkana baby” RCA
Eddy Arnold - “bouquet of roses” RCA
Eddy Arnold - “what is life without love” RCA
Eddy Arnold - “be sure there’s no mistake” RCA
Tiny Hill – “Sioux city sue” Mercury
Tiny Hill – “I’ll keep on lovin you” Mercury
Tiny Hill – “you’re a real sweetheart” Mercury
Tiny Hill – “please don’t talk about me when I’m gone” Mercury
Tiny Hill – “send me your love for christmas” Mercury
Tiny Hill – “auld lang syne” Mercury
Joe smith Orchestra – “stealing” Victor
Joe smith Orchestra – “I want my mammy – mandy and me” Victor
Joe smith Orchestra – “that naughty waltz” Victor
Selvin Novelty Orchestra – “in your arms” Victor
Liberace – “the story of three loves” Columbia
Liberace – “maiden’s wish samba” Columbia
Henry King – “let there be love” DECCA
Henry King – “irene” DECCA
Yerkes Jazzarimba Orchestra – “behind your silken veil” Victor
Yerkes Jazzarimba Orchestra – “roses at twilight” Victor
Tommy Dorsey – “don’t be a baby, baby” RCA
Tommy Dorsey – “there’s good blues tonight” RCA
Van and Schenck – “in the lond o’ yamo yamo” Victor
Van and Schenck – “everybody’s crazy ‘bout the dog-gone blues but I’m happy” Victor
Paul Whiteman – “some sunny day” Victor
Club Royal Orchestra – “rosy posy” Victor
Club Royal Orchestra – “california” Victor
Club Royal Orchestra – “she loves me, she loves me not” Victor
Club Royal Orchestra – “wanna” Victor
Columbia Band – “fourth of july, 1920” Columbia
Columbia Band – “fourth of july, 1880” Columbia
All Star Trio – “who believed in you?” Victor
Neapolitan Trio – “spring song” Victor
Neapolitan Trio – “across the still lagoon” Victor
The Benson Orchestra – “on the Alamo” Victor
The Benson Orchestra – “don’t bring me posies” Victor
Kitty Wells – “one by one” DECCA
Kitty Wells – “I’m a stranger in my home” DECCA
Ralph Errolle – “sweet Genevieve” EDISON



Location: LODI, WI
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1779430283


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[Sidewinder]

Just to compare Craigslist descriptions to some of the twilight zone competition over at ebay, how about this !!

"Circa 1900 Antique gramophone record

Starting bid: £50.00

Hi here we have a gramophone record I believe that it pre dates the Titannic but will clarify for certain before the auction ends.

More details and photos to be added shortly."

The seller has posted a few dozen auctions all with this brilliant description & no picture. The Titanic (wow it must be old) reference kind of cancels out the anticipation of "details and photos to be added shortly" . Lets hope they are magnificent records for the $70 or $80 individual start prices.


http://shop.ebay.co.uk/rbc872/m.html?_n ... ksid=p4340