'Worst Phonograph Description On Craigslist' contest

[JohnM]

Person murdered while posting this -- agragh!

http://nashville.craigslist.org/atq/1678148729.html

1903-1913 Thomas Edison Phonagragh - $650 (Franklin TN.)

Floor model works fine still original. If interested call 615-753-7479 Great shape!

[JohnM]

"Cherry oak"??? Puh-leeze! And one of a kind of only 270000 made! Huh? In the whole world! And only $1800! I think I will reward them for their ignorance, too!

http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/atq/1675617189.html

"Victrola Victor talking machine - $1800 (milwaukee (surrounding area))

Beautiful Antique Victrola XIV for 1800 obo. cherry oak excellent condition. manufactured August 1, 1913. one of a kind. serious collector inquires only. this is 1 of 270,000 made in the whole world. if you love antiques this is one item you must have. THIS IS A GORGEOUS PIECE!!!

if interested i can be reached at (414)759-5953"

[JohnM]

Note for after the link expires -- the photos show an old single-sided orange-label 'Silvertone' record on the turntable. Yikes! I'm sure that's not doing the "resonator" much good either!

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/a ... 49491.html

"Edison, Phonograph, 1898-1913 Disc Player Model C150 - $225 (Minneapolis, MN)

This antique Edison phonograph, Disc player is in great shape, Model C-150, mechanically works great, and in original condition. I have one Edison Disc record # 51177-R The song on the record is YES! WE HAVE NO BANANAS, Patented in 1898-1913 Edison The sound is great. The resonator is in excellent shape and works great. The resonator alone for one of these disc players is around $200. dollars or more to just have it repaired! Must sell to make room in are apartment! Thanks"

[JohnM]

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/a ... 67179.html

"SIVERSTONE VICTROLA - $125 (MOUND)

SIVERSTONE VICTROLA NEEDS REFINISHING. $125 "

[Nat]

I retain an fondness in my heart for all the sellers - eBay included - who have some weird machine called a "phonograph player".

How do you get a phonograph into a player? Even more, how do you record on a phonograph?

Then there are always those ingenious "Edison Victrola Phonographs"....

Nat

[estott]

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/a ... 67179.html

"SIVERSTONE VICTROLA - $125 (MOUND)

SIVERSTONE VICTROLA NEEDS REFINISHING. $125 "

That ad isn't one of the worst- the pictures are passable and the price is within reason. If it was near me I'd consider it- you seldom find the high end ones in oak.

[Wolfe]

This is fun! I'm still just in Chicago!

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nch/clt/1682862566.html

"Vintage collection of 78 speed records - $2 (Niles)

I have a fantastic collection of original 78 records representing hits from the 1940s era. I'm showing just a sample of what I have. I don't know if they are playable since I don't have a phonograph that supports 78 speed. I've seen people frame vintage recordings like these as art -- check out the RCA Victor dog with the phonograph. They are $2 each -- I'll sell the lot of 38 records for $25 including a set of very vintage record folios.
Al Trace
Bill Haley
Don Cherry
Don Cornell
Doris Day
Dream Weavers
Eddie Fisher
Eydie Gorme
Four Lads
Frank Sinatra
Frankie Lymon
Georgia Gibbs
Gogie Grant
Herbie Fields
Jayhawks
John Leslie
Ken Griffin
Li'l Wally
Lou Stein
McGuire Sisters
Mitch Miller
Nelson Riddle
Pat Boone
Patience & Prudence
Paul Gatton
Perry Como
Peter Pan
Phil Reed
Rusty Draper
Somethin' Smith
Unbreakable - Jimmy Boyd"

There's a lot of those artists that could indeed be on 78's. Bill Haley...Mitch Miller...sure.
Even someone like Nelson Riddle had the odd (late) Capitol 78 single released.

25 bucks for the lot, I wouldn't pay it, for those records, but it's not exactly highway robbery either.

[JohnM]

@estott -- I was referring to the fact that the seller couldn't even transcribe the brand name of the thing. I once had a fancy walnut Silvertone -- now that was something!

@wolfe -- I was referring to (1940's) records being hawked as objet d'art. Probably the most bland period of label design.

[Steve Stephens]

John,
Of all those phonos you must have found one to bring home with you. The oak Edison DD machine looks pretty nice though the price is out of sight.

My favorite, but on ebay, is this "It is a brown Victor talking Machine.I would say between 1930's-1950's"
Notice the postage stamp sized photo and the description of item condition as "NEW"

After a message to the seller to advise putting more information in her listing she has relisted it twice with no changes. I guess that's why she still hasn't gotten any bids on and of her completed items.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vi ... 500wt_1182

[JohnM]

I haven't found anything to buy on Craigslist since I bought that super-clean Triumph A a couple of months ago. In the past, I've purchased things as glorious as a Shell-O-Phone and an Edison 'Concert' ('Opera') on CL I just am entertained on a level by the attempts to describe something for the purpose of sale. It is interesting to see what someone with no knowledge of old record players thinks is important when describing them. Obviously, the numbers and letters stamped into that metal plate attached to the cabinet right where you see it every time the lid is opened aren't important all that much. It's got the dog on it -- they can see that from 6' away -- so it must be an 'RCA'. No need to actually LOOK at it, because that would mean they might actually have to think about it and that hurts! It amazes me and fascinates me like a car wreck that people can use a computer well enough to list something for sale, but not well enough to Google it so that they can know what they are selling in order to represent what they are exchanging $ for most accurately. In the world I live in, this benefits both buyer and seller.